Spoiled

It is common to hear people talking about “spoiled children” or a “spoiled child.”  

In our family we did not talk about a spoiled child until Amanda was born. Having two boys only 17 months apart in age, we did not talk about either boy being “spoiled.” When that cotton-top little girl named Amanda appeared on the scene, the boys were as guilty as their parents in spoiling her. 

As a preschooler in Burkina Faso, Amanda had only one local playmate, Janeen, who was our house helper’s daughter. Most children of all ages—even four-year olds—were kept busy all day helping with chores, hauling water or working in the fields. There was little play time for village children. Janeen’s dad worked for us so their family had a steady income and did not have to farm to grow food for their family, so she was able to play each day with Amanda. 

When Allison joined our clan Amanda was four years old. Amanda, the boys and Janeen all participated in spoiling her—along with her parents! There is four years difference in our girls’ ages, so Allison came along at just the right time for Amanda to pretend that she was her real baby.

Allison was definitely the most spoiled of our children. Maybe that’s because she is the fourth child, or she is the baby of the family. Regardless of the birth order, her three siblings doted on her so much that Allison was queen of the house.  

As parents we did not consider ourselves as heavy disciplinarians. We were firm with our kids for sure. I admit that I was less firm with our fourth child because I really did not need to be firm with Allison. Sometimes whenever Allison did something wrong, I did not have to say a word. I could just look at her a certain way, and she would lower her chin and look away from me. What a sad face! Whenever I gave her the “look,” she understood that she had done something that she should not have done, and she had that repentant reaction.

Isn’t it interesting how Allison’s reactions to her father’s “look” made her know that she had done something that displeased her father? The same is true with our Heavenly Father: we know when we miss the mark with Him without a word being spoken to us—and not even a “look.” 

Lord, as we walk with you, guide us to be so in tune with You that we don’t need a word or a look from you to know when we are not pleasing You.