Weddings

Weddings are all about the same. What I mean is that you are not surprised by much in a wedding because you know what to expect—processional, vows, “I do,” pronouncement, kiss, recessional. Granted there can be some unexpected events like the groom fainting or the sound system malfunctioning, but for the most part there are no surprises.

The wedding reception is where the new couple can venture out. We participated in a wedding reception last weekend that was most unusual.  The groom has lived in Central Asia, and he met his future wife where she was performing medical work with refugees. Over 50 of those refugees attended the wedding and reception.

The DJ made sure that there was some kind of dancing going on all the time. Every third song was an Afghan song, and the women and girls would circle up on one side of the dance floor and the men and boys formed another circle. The Afghans were in their beautiful traditional dress, and I felt totally underdressed. Recently arrived Ukrainian children enjoyed the buffet which included Memphis barbeque and Afghan pilaf.

The best surprise of the wedding was to get to visit with a Central Asian couple with whom two colleagues and I stayed in Kyrgyzstan a few years ago. Getting to see these friends brought back a flood of memories of working in Central Asia in the late 80s and early 90s.

I have been to a lot of weddings—some of them family and some friends of our family and some, I will admit, just because we “needed to.” The ones I enjoyed the most were our kids’ weddings, and I confess that I look forward to participating in as many grandchildren’s weddings as my life on earth allows.

Here it is: it just bothers me to see so dang much money spent on weddings. I know that is not a popular remark, but there, I said what a lot of people are thinking! I glanced at an internet story this morning about a celebrity couple spending $400,000 on their wedding—this was not the first rodeo for either celebrity. I could not help but think about what good could be wrought from $400,000 such as feeding 400,000 Ukrainian refugees for one day in Poland, Moldova, and Romania.

If you look at the mess the world is in and all the suffering that is taking place in many corners of the world, there are a plethora of places where $400,000 could make a huge difference in many lives. If I had $400,000 to dispense, I could buy all the following goods to distribute among those in need: 850 sheep, 750 goats, drill 40 wells, 2,000 mosquito nets, 1,000 business starter kits, and provide a safe place for a day for 9,000 trafficking victims.

I did not write about the multi-cultural wedding above to criticize the cost of the wedding and reception. It was a simple, but beautiful and elegant wedding. The reception was awesome as I have highlighted in this story. The wedding showed me that a bride and groom can have a memorable, fun time with the wedding and reception without paying through the wazoo. I salute them.

For years while our kids were growing up, we had this little plaque displayed in our home: Live simply so that others can simply live. I hope I never forget that message.