Keys

Can the grandkids reach the keys? That question has been raised in our home over the past 25 years. Now that Noa, the youngest grandchild, is four years old, we don’t have as much of a challenge of losing keys. We have a “keys bowl” and I am not 100% sure of this, but I don’t think that Noa knows about the key bowl. But she is still capable of knowing but not telling.

Now, when we have a special event with all our grandkids present, one of the older grandchildren will yell out, “Has anyone seen my keys?” It is quite normal for one of the two youngest grandkids, Noa and her six-year-old brother Pete to look under the cushion of a chair or sofa and present the keys. I can’t help but think that they do these type things because it draws attention to themselves. And there is a lot of “It’s just fun to trick my cousin.”

When I was a preschooler, I watched my dad as he carefully clipped his key ring on his belt. He was the general manager of a food vending company, and he had to carry a variety of keys. Most of these 12-15 keys were master keys for a particular vending machine company. I would go with my dad to “help him.” One of the best gifts I ever received was a key ring exactly like my dad’s. It was round and shiny and stayed clipped to my belt. When I grabbed a key and pulled it out and up to open a machine, the key had tension on it. When I let it go, it quickly returned to its proper position on the key ring.

Ever since getting my own key ring, I have had a keyring with my own keys. One of the most celebrated times in our lives was when we received keys either to a family car or even better when we got our own car or truck. The make and model of my first car may not have made the Consumer’s Report top ten vehicle list, but all the same it was my car, and I also proudly carried the keys to that car.

So, for the past 60 years, I have carried keys in one of my pockets. For those who do not know, I was diagnosed with Blepharospasm in 2021. Three months ago, my movement disorders neurologist told me that I could not drive any more. She also said that Cheryl would have to be the bad cop and enforce this decision. My doctor said this in such a nice, gentle way that I did not argue or even get mad.

Can you imagine never driving a vehicle again? Cheryl, our children, and our grandchildren have stepped up to the plate to drive me to all my medical appointments—which are numerous and are mostly at Emory in downtown Atlanta.

If you are wondering how it feels to give up your car keys, it stinks. But my mind was trumping my heart to think like that.

My life is bigger than the ability to drive. I thought about all the blind people who cannot drive. The amazing thing is I feel like I am blind with 20/20 vision. I have perfect vision with my glasses. I just cannot control when my eyes are going to blink and how long my blinks will keep my eyes closed.

I have always thought that if I could not drive, then I would feel like I was not in control of my life. But deep in my heart I know better. I gave my heart and my life to Jesus Christ long ago. God is in control of my life. He’s got this.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isiah 55:8-9, ESV). 

Report on my high level mucoepidermoid salivary gland cancer:

I have experienced reduced appetite, shortness of breath, extreme dry mouth, dizziness (I have fallen twice. First time at home with no damage. The second fall was three days ago in the Walmart parking lot with damage being very large strawberry on my elbow and bruises on my hip). Extreme fatigue--after never taking a nap during the daytime, I am now napping for 50-90 minutes every day.     

Next appointment is 4Feb25. That will be Infusion number 3. After that infusion, my medical team will take more scans and MRIs.

It is tempting to fall into the pity pool and feel sorry for myself. So far I have avoided this. But it would be so easy to feel sorry for myself for all my health challenges. But I choose the high road here—Joshua 1:9.